Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas! Here's wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Christmas Cheer

Today I enjoyed a highly anticipated visit with a good friend of mine. We had dinner, exchanged gifts and watched Christmas movies. It was a good night. Although the good times continued even after I got home. 
My dad was watching "A Christmas Carol" (The really really old one that's in black and white) Tiny Tim was saying something and my younger sister announces "he sounds like a girl." My immediate response: "Justin Beiber sounds like a girl." My dad  burst into laughter and my younger sister stomped off. I thought it was funny. 


Later on I told my dad about my final grades for 1st semester. I was pleased with them. I ended up with a B average. So after I told my dad this he says: "Asian Fail." I'm not even Asian... He later told me he was joking, but I was still pissed and I will have my revenge. So guess what the whole family is going to hear about on Christmas? That's right, my favourite supportive father. 


With tomorrow being Christmas eve, it also marks the beginning of the 3 day party with the fam jam. I spend the evening of Christmas eve with family, Christmas is all about family, with the morning spent at home with my dad and sisters, then a trip to my maternal grandparent's house, then finally off to my dad's side of the family for dinner. Boxing day is then spent at my grandparent's annual "Boxing Day Bash" which also happens to be the 1 day of the year when I see a bunch of family/family friends as well as the 1 day a year that my grandma makes her 7 layer dip (which is my absolute favourite.) Needless to say I can't wait!


Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone!

Countdown to Christmas

Now that finals are over you would think I would be able to relax a little bit and just enjoy the vacation and anticipation of Christmas. Sadly that is not how life works, I am currently being tormented by the lack of posted grades. Only two of my four final grades have been posted and it is driving me insane! And ironically, it's not even the two that I wrote during the first week of exams (my Dec. 8th and 10th exams) the two that have been posted are the results from the Dec. 8th and 16th. I really want to know how I did on the Dec. 10th exam, I want to see how badly it is going to screw up my G.P.A. I am literally dying with curiosity and anxiety!

The other downside of this vacation is that my younger sister is also home which means that she feels the need to bother me every 5 minutes. Keep in mind there is only a 3 year age gap between the two of us, so it's not like she's a 5 year old constantly seeking attention. She is also the snoopiest snoop ever! For example last week my dad came home from shopping and thus my sister dove to the window to see if she could make out anything that was a possible gift for her. I pulled her away from the window which resulted in her scratching my arms and leaving a pretty good bite mark. (which was visible for literally at least 8 hours afterwards.)

It is almost Christmas so I am trying to keep up beat and positive. The tree is up, it is fully stocked with large quantities of presents underneath and I am not stressed to the max with school.

Part of the tree and a dog who seems to think she is a present.

Finally Finished!

It is official, I have successfully survived this semester! All of my finals have been completed (hopefully successfully and without failure) regardless, there is no way that I am going to fail any of my courses. Not get the marks that I hope for is definitely a possibility, but I'm not going to fail anything so I'd say that is a step in the right direction. 


So today was my last final, Humanities. We had three hours to write two essays. Because I am the Speedy Gonzales of test writing, I was the first person finished out of the entire class. I have to say it was slightly awkward walking to the front of the class to hand in my exam because it was so quiet. Naturally when I finally got to the front I asked my teacher if he just wanted us to leave them on the table and I guess he was completely engrossed in his book because as soon as I started talking he jumped two feet in the air. So that left me like oh...well this is awkward...I'm going to pick up my paper and leave now... Oh well I'm just so happy that I finally get my break.


Now that I finally get my break, does it make me a complete nerd to admit that I'm super excited that I now have time to get some leisure reading done? Sure I spent a ton of time reading this semester, but it wasn't the stuff I wanted to read. I have 4 books on my bookshelf right now that I have to read and possibly another one that I want to buy and at least 3 that I want to borrow from the library. I have 2 weeks to read 8 books... Plus there is all of the visiting with friends and family that I have to cram into the holidays. Oh well we only have time for what we make time for. 

Holidays, Gift Wrap and Santa Claus

The holidays never fail to remind me of the fact that I am a TERRIBLE gift wrapper. I don't know what it is I just  seem to be really bad at it. This year I somehow have gotten a little bit better so they don't look quite like complete disasters but the corners of gifts are something I can't seem to get right. As a result of my inept inability to properly wrap parcels, I'm a bit of a gift bag person because they are much more straight forward. If a gift bag came with steps it would be really simple like step 1: open bag, step 2: insert gift into bag, step 3: place tissue paper inside bag to prevent anyone from seeing what is inside. Where as actually wrapping a box is much more complicated. You have to cut a square of wrapping paper the correct size and then there is a lot of folding that I just haven't mastered. 

Speaking of the Holidays, something that always comes up is Santa Claus. There are two views on Santa the first (and the view point of most children) is that the jolly fat man is real. The second, (and view point of most "grown ups") is that he isn't. But on the topic of "grown-ups" I have one question, is anyone really ever completely "grown up"? Sure you can physically be completely grown up, but as far as mentally and emotionally aren't we always learning things? I don't think that there is just some age where it suddenly clicks and we know everything. Children and grown-ups alike all make mistakes. That last statement is speaking from personal experience as well as through the observation of others such as friends and family. My dad has made mistakes, I've even literally been "the forgotten middle child." (that one was a big mistake that I haven't let him live down.) But that is a story for another time. 

Checking Another Thing Off The "To-Do" List

Christmas shopping = done! After a long day at a crowded mall, all of the gifts that I had to purchase have been purchased and I have to say it was a pretty good day. I got a break from studying, I actually got something done that needed to get done and had a bunch of laughs along the way. I also enjoyed a slice of orgasmic chocolate cake from ABC Country Restaurant. It's called Chocolate Explosion I believe and I couldn't think of a better way to end my day than having dinner with a friend, laughing until I nearly cried and having chocolate cake.

Sadly tomorrow means going back to the harsh realities of studying for finals. But it also puts me one day closer to being done finals and relaxing until Christmas. Every dark cloud has a silver lining right? So now all I have to do is make it through my finals without failing them and I shall be fine.

The Important Things I Learned This Semester.

As I am studying like a crazy person for my final exams, I was thinking about all of the best moments/teacher quotes in my classes and the fact that these will probably be the only things that I actually remember from these classes. They go as follows:
Psychology:
1) When my professor dressed up as Hannibal Lecter for Halloween
2) "The Hypothalamus is responsible for the four F's; Fight, Flight, Feeding and Mating. I'll let you guys figure that one out."
Philosophy:
1) "Zeus was just a horny old bastard. But don't quote me on that."
2) When my Professor forgot his pants
Humanities:
1) Watching The Colbert Report and The Daily Show with John Stuart
(I really had a hard time coming up with anything for this class because I really did not enjoy it)
Archaeology:
1) "I think my dad had Neanderthal genes, I'm an Archaeologist, I think about these things."
2) "Very few humans today have prominent brow ridges, my husband has brow ridges and I like to fondle them."

The Final Craze Commences

Tomorrow marks the beginning of the final craze. My first final is at 3:30pm. This isn't really the one that I am worried about. Tomorrow is my Psychology final, 100 multiple choice questions. I'm not too stressed about that one. Friday is my Archaeology final which shouldn't be too bad either. The one that I am most worried about is next Thursday. That would be my Philosophy exam. For this final I have to know all of the professor's lecture notes as well as every article we read from the textbook well enough to be able to read a quote and be able to respond with who said the quote and what they are saying. My Humanities final is next Friday and I'm not too stressed for that one either because we have three hours to write two essays. He has already given us five essay questions two of which will be on the exam and we will have to answer them. So to prepare for this exam all I have to do is do a rough outline/figure out what I would say for each of these topics. The only problem right now is that I should be studying for tomorrow's exam right now and I keep getting distracted. I haven't even studied for this Friday's exam exam yet either which I should really get on. So I suppose after tomorrow's exam I get to start studying and Thursday I go meet with my Archaeology professor to talk about my last midterm because it was added up incorrectly but other than that Thursday is my study Archaeology day.

Other things I did today while I should have been studying include:
Going back to sleep
Hanging up two collage picture frames
Watching "The Proposal"

Now that I look at the picture frames that I hung up, I realize that I must come across as somewhat narcissistic because I'm in so many of the pictures. Who really cares? Is it bad that after watching a romantic comedy like "The Proposal" I felt slightly depressed because I'm very single and kind of getting sick of it? So I guess the only thing I don't regret from today is going back to sleep. Oh well, let's wait and see what tomorrow brings. (hopefully I won't fail) Wish me luck.

Stand Still, Look Pretty

I just came across this song, which I can totally relate to and I thought I would share. It's called "Stand Still Look Pretty" by The Wreckers.

You can listen to it here -->Stand Still Look Pretty-The Wreckers

I thought the lyrics were fantastic. The general premise of the song being yes my life isn't perfect, there's lots going wrong hence the line "I am slowly falling apart." But at the same time they are telling you that while you're so wrapped up in your own problems there's still always someone out there who has it worse than you do. "people have problems that are worse than mine, I don't want you to think I'm complaining all the time."
All while telling you don't judge me because you don't know the whole story. "I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start and you might think it's easy being me, you just stand still, look pretty." The song just really struck a cord with me.

Movie Theater Pet Peeves Realized While Watching The Fabulous Harry Potter 7 Part 1

After accomplishing my goal of getting at least half of my final Philosophy paper finished, I finally got to go and see Harry Potter today. Because we usually go as a family I had to wait this long, and I was kind of pissed off when I found out that it was only going to be me and my dad going, but regardless, I loved it. I really loved the bits of comic relief that were incorporated beautifully into the film to balance out the intense moments. I'm not going to spoil anything for those who have not read the book and still want to see the movie so the only thing that I will say is that if you are planning on taking young children with you they will probably be completely terrified if you go see it in 3D, and they will probably be scared anyways. But, that's about all I can say.

Something that I did think about after I got home from the movies was about how different the movie going experience would be for someone who has read the book (like myself) and someone who hasn't (like my dad). Because someone like me knows what is coming next and is slightly distracted by all of the things that were left out of the movie. Where as my dad is completely wrapped up in what is going on and doesn't know what to expect next.

Going to the movies also reminded me of some of the things that other people do that really bother me (and probably other people too). The things that bothered me today at the movie theater were people pulling out their cell phones at random times throughout the movie and the people who have to talk during the movie.

1) To the people who pull out their phones during the movie, if you are checking the time because you're that bored, do us all a favour and leave. You are extremely distracting with your bright light in the middle of a dark theater, we all know it was you and you look like a tool. There is a reason they ask you to turn your phone OFF. (My dad was one of the offenders so I told him to stop being a tool and that I was going to have to confiscate his phone next time)
2) To the people who talk during the movie it's very nice that you have your opinion but "opinions are like assholes, everyone has one but I don't really want to know about it." And if there is something that you are talking about that is completely irrelevant to the movie do us all a favor and leave I didn't pay money to listen to you, I want to watch my movie.

Anyways, I still have another 224 more words to write for my Philosophy paper so I'm off to finish that.

Hallucinations of Harry Potter

I am definitely sick. I'm sure it is just some form of the common cold, but it really sucks. I am completely congested to the point that I continuously wake up in the middle of the night because I can't breathe, there is a dull throbbing in my head most of the day, I keep sneezing, the sore throat is starting to kick in and my nose is running like a faucet. But because I am stubborn I haven't taken anything to combat these symptoms yet. If it doesn't let up by this weekend however, I will probably give in and take something. Either way I would really appreciate it if I could get better ASAP because I have a paper to write this weekend and 4 finals to study for and write in the next two weeks.

Despite the sickness, something I have to look forward to (other than the end of this semester), is that I finally get to go see the first installment of the seventh Harry Potter movie.I am a huge Harry Potter fan, (to the point where even before my birthday this year I told my family that for my birthday next year I want a box set of all the Harry Potter movies.) but my family has a tradition of always going together so I haven't gone yet. Even though I am dying to see what they have done with it and all my friends tell me it's amazing and I can hardly wait! Although I'm really curious about the next and final movie because in the book there is a scene where Harry is completely naked so I'm wondering how they are going to do this in a family movie or if they're just going to cut it out all together.

Student + Dying = Studying, and Finals is Really Just an Acronym

School is winding down, I am getting sick, it is really cold outside these things can only mean one thing: The holidays must nearly be here! I am really excited for the holidays not only because it means getting a well deserved break from school, but because it means seeing my family who I love dearly. (some of whom I rarely see otherwise) 

My plans for the holidays look like this so far: 

Christmas eve: go to my Great Aunt's house

Christmas day: shuffle between my house and my Grandma's house before ending off at my cousin's house for dinner with my dad's side of the family

Boxing day: go back to my Grandma's house for her annual boxing day get together. (It is the only time I get to eat her 7 layer dip that she makes from scratch, which is heavenly as well as the only day where I get to see some of the more distant family members/family friends)

December 27th: Go camping down the states (which is really code for go shopping and hit up all the sales) 

New Years Day: Come home from aforementioned camping trip.

Jan 4th: Go back to school and begin spring semester.

Needless to say I'm excited. Now all I have to do is make it through three more days of classes which breaks down to (2 more Philosophy classes and 1 more Humanities class/tutorial), 1 more paper and 4 final exams. I'm going to remain optimistic until I have a breakdown from all the stress of studying for finals.* 

*As I have mentioned before Studying is just a combination of the words Student and Dying. Finals on the other hand is an acronym:

F*@#!

I

Never

Actually

Learned

Shit

Positivity For A Change

Today was a pretty good day. Which was a nice change. I got to sleep in, (in fact I woke up half an hour before I had to go to my grandparent's house to help decorate their Christmas tree) I got into the holiday spirit and helped my grandparents decorate their tree, I made plans to hang out with a friend later in the week and I fixed my schedule for next semester. I got to add Kinesiology and drop Earth Science which means that I actually wanted to take 3 out of the 4 courses I'm taking next semester. Which is something to look forward too. However, at the same time I'm slightly worried about Education and Kinesiology because Education is a second year level course and Kinesiology is supposed to be hard. Hopefully I'll find a way to manage though.

On yet another positive note; (surprising I know) the semester is almost over 1 more week before finals! And then it will be Christmas and who doesn't love the holidays? And because there is only 1 week left it means that I have 1 paper to write from scratch, 1 paper to revise, and 1 15 question multiple choice quiz. And then 4 finals. But I think I can handle it. The finals are the only thing I'm worried about at the moment, well maybe the 1 paper I have to write from scratch too... But all is well and I'm excited.

Course Selection; A Response.

My school did declare today a snow day. Unfortunately they waited until 3:30pm to do so and because my first class was at 8:30am I was already there. I was smart however, I avoided my tutorial because it seemed pointless to go when my T.A. had not attended the lecture and according to someone in an earlier tutorial he was sick and didn't have our papers anyways. So kudos to me for not getting stuck on the mountain. I also went to my high school's Sr. Girl's Basketball game. Where I found all of last year's senior members except for one. Although to be honest the team isn't as good this year as it was last year and the game got painful to watch at times, they did win in the end though.

After I got home from the game, I had to attempt to re-do my schedule for next semester for the fourth time. This is due to half of the classes I wanted being full and many of my back ups also being full. I have finally settled on two classes I want to take (one of which only has 32 spots left, and obviously that is the only one that I have been planning on taking since planning my current semester, so I'm really hoping) and two classes that I am not too thrilled about but they fulfill requirements for things so I'm accepting it. Because my registration is at 7:30am tomorrow I'm remaining hopeful about getting into these classes. I'm trying to remain optimistic about this. *fingers crossed* (I need all the luck I can get)

Course Selection, Snow and Reminiscing

It's almost that time again. Course registration. I had the unfortunate luck(?) of being chosen to have my registration date be the LAST day of course selection. Meaning that some of the courses I wanted to take are already full, some of my back ups are also full. And I haven't even had my registration day yet. I have the pleasure of having my registration day at 7:30am on Friday morning. Most of my friends (if they haven't had theirs already) have theirs tomorrow which worries me greatly as to the amount of courses I will successfully be able to enroll in. 


On the possibly brighter side, we are supposed to receive 10-15cm of snow tonight meaning there is a possibility that school will be cancelled tomorrow. This is something that I am extremely pleased about. Thursday is my least favourite day of the week. I have to get up early to be at school extremely early in order to sit through my least favourite class of the week. Not something I particularly enjoy. This is probably the only upside of your school being on a mountain. Downside: it's foggy often and usually always colder than everywhere else. Upside: when it snows and buses cannot make it up the mountain, school is cancelled. *Finger's crossed that I don't have to go to school tomorrow*


Regardless of the snowfall and status of my school closure I plan on going back to my high school to watch a basketball game tomorrow night. I miss playing, and I miss the girls on the team so I think it will be fun to see them playing and watching with another friend who has also graduated is a plus because we don't go to the same school anymore so we don't always get to see each other. I'm looking forward to it. Although hopefully their school isn't closed causing the game to be post-phoned to a later date...that would be unfortunate. Oh well, we'll see what tomorrow brings. 

Pretty vs. Talented

Remember the days where musicians weren't necessarily the best looking people, but they were actually talented? I was born in the 90's so I don't, but those were good days for music. This is part of the reason that I love Youtube. There is so much undiscovered talent on there, I have my favourites who I'm hoping will get discovered. Like today one of my subscriptions posted this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2RA0vsZXf8&feature=recentu
 it's a cover of Nelly's "Just A Dream" and it gives me chills everytime I watch it. And I suggest that you check it out. Because I cannot understand how these three aren't famous yet. They are all so talented and it is so much better than half of the popular crap on the radio.

This may have something to do with the fact that I'm a Broadway fan at heart, I live for the voices of people who don't require autotune. I'm a big Regina Spektor fan (who most people probably haven't heard of). I love people who put emotion into their music and are actually talented. I guess I'm just so sick of Justin Bieber, Rhianna, Ke$ha and all of the rest of the music on the radio these days that all sounds the same. Just because you're good looking doesn't mean that you should be famous. I know that they can make anyone sound good these days but I'd rather have an ugly celebrity who had real talent.

The Pillar of Strength Crumbles

Support. A simple enough word, a simple enough concept, but it makes a huge difference. It can be the difference between being mediocre and fantastic at something, it can be the difference of actually wanting to get out of bed in the morning and wanting to curl up and hide under the covers for a while.

Growing up I never really felt like I was fully supported by my dad when I was playing basketball, the same way my sister feels like he doesn't support her when it comes to her cheer leading. Message to all parents: It is one thing to support your kids financially and provide for them in that sense, it is a completely different matter when it comes to emotional support. As much as we may complain, we actually do want to see you at our games. (Even if you're yelling may embarrass us.) Believe me, it feels a lot better to have someone there than it does to constantly have people asking you why your parent never comes to your games. We understand you're busy and can't make it to every single one, but coming every once in a while is much appreciated.

There are enough people trying to tear you down everyday. Everyone has that one person who is relentless when it comes to lowering your self-esteem. Try to avoid them and if you can't try your best to ignore them because chances are they're lying to you and they're wrong. Surround yourself with good people who care about you and don't give up too easily. To anyone who is depressed and thinking about suicide, no one can help you unless you let them and suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Find your rock, because everyone needs a rock. That is someone who is stable and consistently there to support you through whatever you need help through. Stay positive.

Up Until Now I Swore To Myself That I'm Content, With Loneliness

I don't know if it's the winter blues just starting to hit me or what it is. It could be perhaps the fact that I go to a school located at the top of a mountain where most of the time it is cold, foggy and grey plus the fact that it is basically completely concrete because the architect mostly designed prisons. Maybe even just the stress of school? Whatever it is, I've been feeling a little bit down lately. It could quite possibly be loneliness or the fact that University isn't really living up to all of my expectations. But with high expectations always comes disappointment. But who really knows?

I just feel like something is missing.  I feel like I should be happy, but I'm just not quite there yet. Maybe it's just a growing up thing? Life after all is a learning process where the only real way to learn anything is the hard way.

What I SHOULD Be Doing, and What I'm ACTUALLY Doing Are Two Completely Different Things

What I SHOULD be doing right now: probably working on writing my Humanities paper.
What I'm ACTUALLY doing right now: looking at/finding pictures to put into the collage picture frames that I got for my birthday.


Sadly for my paper (and myself really because I'm going to end up having to write it at some point) I just cannot muster up the motivation to do it right now, and I should really be getting to bed soon anyways. It is a school night after all. I'm just not really in the mood for writing papers or sleeping right now. I also discovered to my dismay that the science class I was hoping to take next semester only has four spots left. Sadly this course is not offered every semester, and my registration day is not until the 26th. Which means zero chance of me getting in. (Although on the plus side the other courses I'm hoping to take still have lots of room so hopefully it stays that way) Therefore today I spent some time looking at back-up courses and found another science course that appears to be interesting. This science course doesn't require labs so that is also a plus I suppose. Me being the Arts student that I am, I'm not really a big fan of labs. Wasn't really a fan of them in high school either. Just a personal thing I guess. 


Random side note: There's a rule in my house that the Christmas tree isn't allowed to go up until after my birthday. Because my birthday is officially over, the Christmas tree went up today. I find this slightly unbelievable. My sister rudely told me to remove my Birthday cards from the T.V. stand where they were being displayed (they had been there less than two days) so that she could decorate it. She also kept yelling at me to stop sitting around, yet every time I asked her if there was something I could do to help her she would reply "not right now." But I'm just the misfitting middle child. 


Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a grinch, I have holiday spirit. I just think that putting up the Christmas tree this early in November is a little bit much. Oh, and it wasn't just the tree, it was pretty much EVERY Christmas decoration we have. Now the family room, living room and bathroom are all decked out with holiday spirit. It kind of makes me wish we had a real tree instead of an artificial one because 1) they smell better and 2) if my sister tried to put it up this early, it would die by Christmas so she would have to wait a little bit. Like I said, I'm not a grinch, I'm all for the holidays. I love sitting down with my family, exchanging gifts, all the great food and the good times. But am I really that crazy to think that mid-November is early for the Christmas tree/Christmas decorations?

Another Year Older ≠ Another Year Wiser

Pretty good birthday weekend. I got everything I needed to accomplish done. I'm proud of myself. So the fun began last night when the girls came over. We hung out, played some games and did some karaoke. Had lunch with the family today. Finished the night off by watching Toy Story 3. Which is too cute! But of course my dog is nuts and she goes crazy for squeaky toys. So naturally every time one of the aliens squeaked she kept trying to figure out where it was coming from. She even went behind the T.V. because she couldn't figure it out. It was pretty cute for some of it because it just looked like she was really into the movie.

Pupdate: She is doing a lot better. We just have to keep an eye on her for any signs of a decline. She's acting more and more like her old self, which naturally means that we have to watch her like a hawk because occasionally she finds a way to sneak up the stairs and she hasn't gotten the okay for that yet. So shes acting mischievous again. So as irritating as that can be, it's a very good sign.

Here's looking forward to another fantastic year full of fun and learning! And let the countdown to Christmas begin! (42 days) Here's to more fun times with family and holiday spirit! Cheers!

Random Ramblings

Now that I have survived my midterm, my "To Do" list has shrunken dramatically. It now consists of 5 things, only 3 and a half ish need to be done this weekend.


My "To Do" List:
1. Psych Article Summary (Experimental) -high priority, due Tuesday
2. Psych Article Summary (Non-Experimental) -high priority, due Tuesday
3. Archaeology Article Summary -high priority, due Tuesday
4. Start Humanities Paper -medium priority, due Thursday
5. Study for iclicker quiz next week -medium priority, quiz Thursday
Which basically means I need to get the article summaries done. (the first two are only 300-400 words, but sadly the 3rd one is max 5 pages summarizing a 20 page article and explaining how the article is relevant to human evolution.) 


Random topic change: I'm a total Gleek so relaxing after my midterm today consisted of goofing off and killing time until Glee. At which point I was very excited because I love Glee and I love Darren Criss. For those of you who don't know Darren Criss is "Harry Freaking Potter" and He's "totally awesome!" (Naturally you will only get those references if you have seen AVPM and/or AVPS (A Very Potter Musical and A Very Potter Sequel) if you haven't, search them on Youtube, they're hilarious)


Regardless, here's looking forward to a fabulous birthday weekend (for me)! And don't forget to take time out on Thursday and Remember all those who've fought for our freedom, without their sacrifice we wouldn't have what we have today.

Do Homework, Meet Hedley, Study and Party!

This weekend was a pretty good one. I got most of the stuff that I wanted to accomplish done. (Just not as much studying as I wanted to get done...) But there is still time for studying so it will be ok, hopefully. But Saturday I got to go down the states and shop, I got 2 pairs of shoes, (1 pair of adorable black flats, and 1 pair of wedge sandals) and I got a sweater dress because it's getting cold now. On an even better note, Hedley was in my city last night for the premiere of their tour DVD "The Show Must Go...On The Road" and it was super exciting because they were there like sitting only feet away from me! And afterwards my two friends  and I all got to meet Tommy! Needless to say, it was exciting.

Now what I need to do is study like a lunatic for tomorrow's Archaeology midterm and then do my article summaries, write a paper and study some more for other quizzes. Sadly the cycle never ends. But this week brings me something to look forward to, my Birthday. It is nice because it falls on a four day weekend for me. And I get to do the small party thing with a small group of friends at my house, and then I get to do the family thing the following day. It's going to be a good weekend.

Step 1: Admitting You Have A Problem

I am extremely proud of myself right now. Despite all of the other things I have going on, I managed to sit down and finish some reflections for Philosophy (I have now successfully completed the required 10 worth 10% of my final grade) If you knew me you would know that this is an accomplishment because they aren't really due until tutorial the week that we're reading the article you do a reflection on, and you have the entire semester to do 10 and I am such a procrastinator.*

*Not the worst procrastinator in the world by any account, but the kind of procrastinator who is like "My paper isn't due until the following Thursday, and because it's Friday (the week before it's due) I'll do it over the weekend. (Saturday rolls around...) Well I have all day today and all day tomorrow I'll start it later. (Suddenly it's Sunday) It's not due until Thursday I have lots of time. (By some insane occurrence it is Wednesday where I don't get home from school until like 5:00pm) and I'm like oh...my paper's due tomorrow at 8:30am I should probably get started." I then sit there for the next like 4 hours writing this thing like a mad woman. Stomach rumbling due to lack of sufficient dinner (really a lack of ANY dinner at all) going "dinner is for people who have time for such frivolous activities! I have a paper to write!"

So that took out a chunk of my "To Do" list. But it still looks like this: (as of this moment right now 11:22pm)
1. Finish Humanities Paper (Monday)
2. Finish Philosophy Paper (Monday)
3.Study for Archaeology Midterm (Tuesday)
4. Psychology Assignment #2 (2 Article summaries) (Tuesday November 16th)
5. Archaeology Article Summary (Tuesday November 16th)

But because I was good today (probably due to the added motivation of a fabulous shoe sale on Saturday causing me to lose a day of homework "accomplishment" for an extremely worthy cause) maybe I can keep it up and get these papers done in a hurry (I'm nearly done my Humanities paper I just have to re-write my conclusion) and study. I'll probably hold off until next week for my article summaries because I have a four day weekend next week due to Remembrance Day, although that 4 day weekend does include my birthday so we'll see. And the studying for the Midterm is more important because it is worth 30% of my final grade.

Pupdate:
Off to see the vet tomorrow with fingers crossed because I have a growing suspicion that she is getting worse. Pain-wise she seems to be getting better, but when I took her for a walk today she wasn't walking normally and wouldn't always walk on her back left paw. Which is a sign that the vet told us to watch for. Here's hoping that all will be good and that what my grandma says really is true and "things always seem to have a way of working out."

The Final Countdown

There are four weeks left this semester and then the final craze commences. I have a paper due on Thursday, another one due Monday, a midterm Tuesday, and three article summaries due on the 16th. That's just the craziness coming up in the next week or so. Plus my birthday falls in the middle of it so I probably won't have much time (if any) to celebrate. Which is upsetting because a break would be nice. After these final four weeks are over and December begins, it's time for finals. Which means lots of studying.* Anyways, here's keeping fingers crossed that I pass and survive. My puppy still isn't better yet. So it would also be really helpful if she got better because I would really appreciate it and it would give me one less thing to stress about. I'm taking her to the vet on Friday to see if the steroids are working.

*Studying coming from a combination of the words student and dying. It refers to any length of time (usually a ridiculously long one) where one is immersed in the reading/re-reading of books and notes in order to attempt to retain enough information to at least pass, but hopefully obtain a decent grade on the test and in the class.

At The Late Night, Double Feature, Picture Show

Happy Halloween! Can Halloween be considered successful or unsuccessful? If Halloween success was measured by the number of trick-or-treaters who show up at your house, it would have been a complete failure for me. I think that maybe 20 kids showed up at my house. So naturally I now have a very large bowl of candy left over which is bad news for my thighs and hips.

The other downside of Halloween, the fireworks. Where I am living, they don't sell fireworks in the city, but they're still pretty easy to get if you go to one of the other suburbs nearby, you are also supposed to have a permit for this with strict rules that basically means just about every residence in the city is not allowed to set off fireworks at their houses. Obviously this doesn't stop people and my dog becomes a mess, plus when you have school tomorrow the people who are setting them off late into the night are just a pain in the ass. Especially because I should be studying, but it's too hard to focus when there is a large BANG! every few seconds. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate Halloween, I love the cute little kids in costumes coming up to my door and dressing up is fun, I'm just not big on the fireworks. But I guess that is partly because "you know you're a dog owner when you hope the people setting off the fireworks by your house would injure themselves so that it would quit so you're dog would calm down."

Anyways, a few of my friends and I had a mini movie marathon the other night where we watched: "The Rocky Horror Picture Show", "Saw 1", "The Blair Witch Project", and "How To Train Your Dragon." (The last one was really just because people got freaked out by the Blair Witch Project.") Needless to say, I've had songs from Rocky Horror stuck in my head since. Plus the fact that Glee did Rocky Horror last week really didn't help that. Oh well, what can you do? Suck it up and deal with it I suppose.

Goblins, Ghouls and Puppies?

Puppy Update: The painkiller dose has been increased, the "pain patch" has been removed and we started her on steroids today. So far so good. She was actually willing to walk around the block and make it all under her own power today. 

The only downside to putting her on steroids is that if they don't work the next option is surgery. A $4,000-$6,000 that we honestly can't afford. And my dad has said from the beginning that if she ends up with back problems that are too much to handle, (such as the one she currently has if the steroids don't work) we're going to have to put her down. So here's keeping fingers crossed and hoping that the steroids work. 

Last night I went to "Fright Night" an event which consists of 5 haunted houses, approximately 16 rides and random people running around in masks (such as devils, clowns, Freddy, goblins, werewolves etc.) some of whom had chainsaws that would run up behind you and yell really loud to try to scare you. The rides were fun, but I've been on all of them before, the haunted houses were really lame. I was laughing in most of them and I think in total last night I jumped maybe 4 times simply because something jumped out at me. I didn't scream or anything and it was disappointing because I wanted to be scared enough to at least make me scream. Oh well, now I know I don't have to go next time. What a waste of my money though.

And The Countdown Begins...

It's been an extremely slow week. Paper was due on Monday, Midterm and my three hour lecture yesterday, and All I have to look forward at school is my second least favourite class today and my least favourite class tomorrow at 8:30 am. Although with Thursday also comes my favourite class, the beginning of my weekend and a night out. This weekend is one to look forward to because on Thursday night I'm going to Fright Night with some friends. (where there are five haunted houses that are actually scary and like sixteen rides) Friday Night is a Halloween inspired movie night with some other friends. Which leaves the rest of the weekend for homework, bummer. I've also still got my poor sick puppy to deal with.

The poor puppy. She has calcium deposits in her spine, common for her breed and causing her a lot of back pain. Underneath the red "sleeve" is a "pain patch" to help control the pain, plus she's taking pain killers orally. And on Friday She starts on steroids. Hopefully she gets better soon. *fingers crossed*

Here's hoping that next week gets better, besides there's a huge shoe sale next Saturday that I plan on attending, my birthday is only two weeks away, the next Harry Potter movie comes out in like 3 weeks. (Yes I'm nerdy and love Harry Potter) So I guess there's a few things to look forward to.

Missing You

It's been over ten years since the day you died

And I did too, but just on the inside.

Each passing night has made me a little bit stronger

But all the same it's made me weaker

Lying awake thinking about what could've happened,

What did instead

All these things stuck in my head

If there was a rewind button for life, 

I wouldn't have let you use the knife

To create this gaping hole in my heart

It's all playing a huge part 

In the story of me

From scraping my knee

To lying in a hospital bed

And the day I found out you were dead.

There are times where I don't see a point in living

And times where I feel like forgiving

I forgive you, it wasn't your fault

I just wish I could've figured it out.

Found the combination to the vault of your mind

The places you hid your feelings and thoughts, your soul

Now all that's left is a huge hole.

Can someone help me understand?

What makes your heart make such a demand?

As to hurt yourself in such a way

that only your friends and family pay. 

Whoever Said Life Was Fair Was Wrong

I have not been having a good week. It all started last Thursday when I got the worst mark I've gotten so far in Psych and then I got my first University paper back only to find out I had lost an ENTIRE LETTER GRADE because I forgot to separate two lines of poetry I'd quoted in my paper with a slash. Let me repeat that. I LOST AN ENTIRE LETTER GRADE over ONE SLASH! Thursday was not good. Then Monday was the day where I got my Philosophy paper back. It's never a good sign when your TA walks in and the first thing he does is write "I'm sorry don't hate me" on the chalkboard. (I got a B- so it wasn't quite as bad as I was expecting.)

This brings us to today. Today I got my Archaeology midterm back which I knew I didn't do well on, but there was still hope that I was wrong and miraculously pulled off a good mark. (This sadly was not the case) After being frustrated because of my mark and my professor I decided to leave early to go home and check on my dog who had just gotten home from the vet. (She has calcium deposits in her spine which causes her pain and although this is common with her breed (Dachshund) it has never happened in the 5 years we've owned her so it freaked us out a little) Anyways, this was the first day that I had not sat through that three hour lecture in its entirety and of course this is the ONE DAY that she decides to take attendance and give marks to all of those people who were there at the end. Life is so fair isn't it? I leave 10 minutes early to check on my sick dog and I miss out on bonus marks which I could really use to make up for my poor midterm mark. I'm thinking about going to her office hours and telling her my story to try to gain these marks out of pity. I mean she knows I was there, I argued with her about my midterm mark. 

"These Scars Remind Us That The Past Is Real..."

When I was seven I had appendicitis. My appendix actually burst and obviously required surgery. This surgery gave me one of the largest appendicitis related scars I've ever seen. As a result of my surgeon doubling as a butcher, my dad asked me if I was interested in plastic surgery to make this scar on my stomach less noticeable. To this I replied that I didn't want it. So I still have this scar. The reason that I said no is that I believe that the past and our scars (both physical and emotional) help make us who we are. Sure there are things in my past that I would love to change, I've gone through a lot of tough times, but why try to erase the past? Why not embrace it and keep the proof that you survived something? Try not giving into vanity and society's standards for once.

As I said, I've gone through a lot throughout my short life. But that really isn't the point, because EVERYBODY has a story that will break your heart. Which is why I hate all of the judgmental people out there who have no idea where you've been and have never gone through it in their life. This is also why when I was reading Thomas Paine's "Common Sense" for my humanities class there was one quote that stuck with me:
"Hath  your house been burnt? Hath your property been destroyed before your face? Are your wife and children destitute of a bed to lie on, or bread to live on? Have you lost a parent or child by their hands, and yourself the ruined and wretched survivor? If you have not then you are not to judge those who have."
Something that was written in 1776 and still holds true.

The Beauty Of Insomnia

Stuck here alone, 

Facing this constant urge to cry, forever unknown.

Everyday a facade, a series of smoke and mirrors

Inside the truth always clearer. 

I'm really not happy, although that's nothing new

The simple price of seeking approval from you.

But don't we always want what we can't have?

My life is a sham

Nothing more than fake smiles and clever lies,

I'm not in control now, nor have I ever been.

No one listens, my thoughts ignored or unheard.

Maybe if she'd never left me,

Maybe if she'd loved me enough to stay,

Then maybe it all would have been different,

And nothing would've turned out this way.

No one hears my words unspoken,

But sometimes the words remaining unsaid,

Are what we need to hear most

Sleep deprivation and insomnia become my life

Is it time to let go?

Put an and to the charade and let someone in?

Tired of being the one watching everyone live

I don't want to be left behind. 

I don't know who I am,

But does anyone really?

This pillar of strength is full of cracks, starting to show

Now's the time where it all falls apart, and the pillar crumbles.

A Cynical View and A Not So Fresh Perspective

I've been thinking lately about mortality. It is a topic that comes up often in conversation, media and my classes. A song I came across recently is "If I Die Young" by The Band Perry. It really touched me and forced me to think about events from my past as well as my future. One thing that I really thought about is all of the things that I've never done and how as a University student I seem to think that I have all the time in the world to accomplish everything. But the truth of the matter is I really don't.

I'm not trying to be completely morbid and depressing or anything. I was just thinking. Saying that, there are really two things that you can do. You can sit forever in fear of dying or go on with living. A while back I read a book called "Before I Die" by Jenny Downham. It is essentially about a girl with cancer who is terminal and has a list of things she'd like to accomplish before she dies. One quote from this book that really stuck with me was:

"All I know is that I have two choices-stay wrapped in blankets and get on with dying, or get the list back together and get on with living." 


And that is really all you can do. When you are down and depressed, listen to a sad song and take a minute but then move on. Because life doesn't wait, no matter how badly we want it to.

Common Sense Just Isn't so Common

I really don't understand society's "invincibility complex." We are all expected to be invincible. In fact growing up I always felt like crying in front of anyone was a sign of weakness and was just embarrassing. However if everyone just accepted the fact that it's alright to cry and that no one is truly invincible then maybe the world would be a more comfortable place. Taking into account the simple fact that "everybody's got a story that will break your heart." Everyone's got their problems and I guess that not everyone needs to know about all of them but if acceptance was more acceptable then perhaps depression wouldn't be such a rampant disease and the world would be a happier place as well. Then again society has some pretty messed up views on some other things. Take for example the fashion industry and their ideas about beauty. When I am told that in order to be beautiful I have to be extremely underweight how can that be right? Why is it that a female like myself who is over six feet tall is supposed to weigh only 100 pounds? And how can malnutrition be beautiful on the models of North America, but when it is worn by the starving children in Africa it is a sight that can bring some to tears? Personally I prefer Roald Dahl's view of beauty: 
"A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely." 
We strive for this unattainable goal, when it really shouldn't matter what you look like. Really if you are a nice person with a good personality that should be all that matters. But our world is far from perfect, and we'll always find something to complain about regardless. So I suppose it really doesn't matter.