Wisdom Teeth Woes

My wisdom teeth are officially gone. I probably freaked out for nothing, but clearly I'm irrational and that didn't stop me. I started crying in the waiting room before finally calming down until I completely lost it again after they brought me in and sat me down in the chair. The actual procedure went well, I was knocked out and didn't feel a thing. After I woke up and they brought me into recovery they asked me to sit up at one point (I guess they were planning on telling me that I could go home) until I got extremely dizzy and nearly lost consciousness. (This was probably a result of a combination of dehydration and low blood pressure). I also got a really bad nose bleed. I have NEVER gotten a nose bleed in my life. In total I ended up being at the doctor's office for nearly 5 hours. 


Now I'm just tired, taking a lot of medications and relaxing. I'm staying at my grandparent's house because it's always nice to have someone there to take care of you full time. She made me scrambled eggs and jello after we got here because I hadn't eaten anything all day. Then she did torture me a little bit because my cousin is here also and she offered my cousin my favourite kind of muffin (which I'm not allowed to eat right now) and then my cousin (after turning down said muffin) started eating my jello. I had oral surgery so I'm giving myself permission to whine. 

Abandoned on the Dance Floor

Thursday was my sister's birthday as well as my friend's birthday. I worked all day. It was steady, but slow. I spent the entire day hanging up clothes and wishing time would move faster. This was until about two hours before I got off when my favourite customer came in. She was looking for a new dress to wear to a party and some shoes to go with it. For the next hour and a half, she tried on dresses, shawls, and shoes. In the end I found her an amazing dress and some awesome shoes to match. There was also lots of laughter and smiles throughout. After I got off work I headed over to my grandparent's house to celebrate my sister's birthday. They had eaten without me, except for my grandma so I wasn't eating alone. After dinner giant red velvet cupcakes for dessert and presents it was time to head home. 

Friday morning I headed over to my boyfriend's house (I seem to live there on Friday/Saturday) and we did a little bit of homework, went to White Spot for lunch and hung out. We also watched a movie called Memento. It was an interesting movie and the way they chose to tell the story was what made it so great. Saturday morning he made me bacon and eggs for breakfast and then we worked on some more homework (sadly I still have more to do). While I was trying to get some of my reading done I fell asleep mid chapter, and later I fell asleep yet again, this time in his arms. When I woke up around two hours later I had to get going because I had my friend's birthday to attend. My boyfriend was supposed to come with me, but he's sick and wasn't feeling up to going out to a noisy pub and drinking. 

At my friend's party I want to say I had a lousy time, but it wasn't really that bad and there were parts that I enjoyed. It all started off fairly calmly. I saw one of my friend's at the bar so we started talking and waiting for others to arrive. Next to arrive was the birthday girl and her boyfriend. So we formed a small group. We talked (talking in this case is essentially yelling over the loud music) and had drinks. As more people started to arrive it got a little bit crazy and we had a hard time trying to coordinate seating for everyone. Soon we headed out to the dance floor. No one was dancing and we got things going. I dance like a white girl...badly and awkwardly. My friend shoved me into some random stranger and then he asked me to dance and we did which was no big deal. It was kind of crazy because he picked me up...as in literally lifting me off the ground. I took a break and texted a few people (obviously I was having a stellar time. I can't drink much due to heath concerns so I was the sober one with a bunch of drunk people). The dancing continued and this random guy came back a little bit later. He pulled me out onto the dance floor yet again, and then after half a song shoved me on his friend...yet another random stranger. I did tell him I had a boyfriend but either he didn't hear me over the music or was too drunk to care. After that song was over I turned around to discover that the entirety of my friend's party had left me alone. My bag was just sitting on a chair at the edge of the dance floor and I had no clue where everyone else went. I found everyone eventually and because I do have to work today I left. 

I made it home around midnight and because on the way home I realized how hungry I was (I hadn't eaten anything since my boyfriend made me breakfast/lunch around noon) I made some soup. And now I really have to get to bed because it's nearing 1:30am and I have work at noon. 

Still Not Getting Better...

So the days continue on their downward spiral. Today began with more snow. I'm a normal human being so snow brings out my inner child (even at 7:30am on the bus). Mondays mean an 8:30am class for me which is not my preferred way to start the week, especially because I'm not really enjoying this class so far. After I made it through that class, my 4 hour break and my final class of the day, I headed home with my boyfriend in tow to make pizza. We made pizza and played Super Mario Bros Wii. Which was all fine and a lot of fun. Then my book that I pre-ordered months ago arrived. I was very excited and ripped open the package immediately. I had pre-ordered "The Fault in Our Stars" by John Green. He signed the entire first printing and because I pre-ordered it, I was supposed to be guaranteed a signed copy. Guess who's copy was not signed. I was extremely disappointed by this. So I did what I was supposed to and sent an email to the "right place" and I suppose I should be able to get him to sign it when I go to the "Tour de Nerdfighting" when it comes here. Also I have a quiz tomorrow, which I should be studying for...Well either that or sleeping. 

Substandard Sunday

After my fantastic Friday the 13th, I guess it was only a matter of time before I had a bad day. Today was that day. Apparently I can't have 3 good days in a row. Said bad day went as follows:


It started off with me being woken up by my sister doing laundry and both of my sisters having an excessively loud conversation outside my bedroom door...(They were even talking/complaining about me). Next I got ready and went to work. I went to the bank before I went to work, at this bank there are 3 ATM's. I needed to deposit a cheque I got from the government. There was one man using the center ATM, so I went to go use the one on his right. On this ATM there was some unidentified red substance all over the keypad. It could have been spaghetti sauce, but I have NO IDEA what it was/why it was there. So I went to go use the ATM to this man's left. I kid you not, someone threw up on this ATM. It was pretty disgusting. Needless to say I waited for this man using the center ATM to finish his banking. 


After I got to work I was turning on the lights and when I flipped one of the circuit breakers in the back to turn on some of the spot lights, I broke 2 of my nails. Not a good start to my day so far. Later on after dealing with cranky customers, the credit card reader at one of the cash registers broke. It read "please remove card" there was no chip card inserted in the reader... We got that fixed by restarting the machine. To end my work day there was some lady who wouldn't leave even though we were closed. She didn't even end up buying anything, she put a pair of shoes on hold and left. So when I finally got out of there, I still had to go visit my dad's mom in the hospital. 


I walked up to the hospital and had a short visit with her, but I don't think she knew who I was. She seemed to think I was my cousin. It was really depressing actually. I didn't expect to be as affected by it as I was. I found myself choking back tears at one point. I suppose I thought that because I hardly see her, it would be sad, but it wouldn't get to me.  


I ended my day by heading home, and missing the bus I usually take. Instead I caught a different bus, where the stop is about double the walking time away from my house. But because I was taking this bus I stopped at the store and bought chips, ice cream and a chocolate bar. I think I covered just about all of the major food groups there. 


Now I just have to make it through my school day tomorrow (tomorrow is the extremely early day with the 8:30am class) and after school my boyfriend is going to come over. We're going to make pizza and probably play some more Super Mario Bros Wii. I'm excited. 

Friday The 13th, it really didn't suck

Yesterday was Friday the 13th..I have to say I'm not superstitious in the least, but I had a pretty amazing day. I spent the day with my boyfriend. We did homework, ran errands and hung out. Later we went to the pub with a bunch of his friends. (Where they were showing one of the strangest movies I've ever seen on the TV). There were a lot of laughs and this movie that they were showing was supposed to be a Japanese horror type movie where 7 school girls go to this mansion and slowly disappear one by one. Although  it could have just as easily been a Japanese porno... 


Anyways, we left the pub around midnight to discover that it was snowing outside. We then walked  to this poutine place my boyfriend had been raving about and got the best poutine I've ever had in my life. If you don't know what poutine is, it's french fries with mozzarella cheese curds smothered in gravy, and it's delicious. At this poutine place there were a lot of drunk people, and this one guy kept talking to me and telling me about how he hates this city, and only likes the girls from where he is from...


After we left the poutine place to head home, we got stopped by this one homeless guy who actually got mad at my boyfriend and his roommate for giving him money...It was a strange ending to the night. We then caught the bus and headed back to his place where there was even more snow (but still not as much as at my house where we probably got like 10cm). 


We spent today hanging out, watching TV, and eventually we both fell asleep again because we were still tired from the night before. Overall I had a pretty great weekend. I got almost all my homework done (I have about 20 pages left to read in a textbook), and I had a great time with my boyfriend and his friends.

Terrifying Realizations, Topped off With an Amazing Date

I have successfully made it through 2 days of school. One more and I've made it through my first week. It's been two days, so everything must be fine and cheery right? WRONG! I'm already behind. I have 6 chapters to read (3 chapters each for 2 classes), a 300 word writing assignment to do, and I should probably start on my 1000 word assignment that is due at the end of the month (it's due on the 30th, but because I'm getting my wisdom teeth out on the 26th I need to have it done before then). Plus I have a quiz next week and on top of this I have work. Not that I'm complaining or anything... 


Despite the fact that it's already overwhelming, tonight I took the night off and my boyfriend came over. We made tacos and then played Super Mario Bros Wii. Awesome date night. I think next time we'll make pizza. 


Random other things that are going on include the fact that I may have a small candy addiction. Ever since Halloween I've consistently had candy in my back pack. Like always. November 1st I loaded up on candy and that lasted a while. But now I keep buying more and more candy. I resisted the temptation to try to go buy cheap chocolates after Christmas, but I still seem to have candy all the time. This is getting expensive and also it's just bad for me. Just something I need to work on. Just like developing a consistent study schedule. Other addictions include a possible small online shopping addiction. I keep buying books online. I love reading so the fact that I can buy books and just have them sent to my house (with free shipping if I spend enough) is fantastic. But i need to stop doing it. Not only am I spending lots of money on things I don't really need right now, I have no time to read for pleasure now that school has started again. 


Overall, things I need to do:
-Develop good study habits
-Kick my candy addiction
-Kick my small online shopping addiction
-Keep on top of my work load/reading for school
-Possibly cut back to one day a week for work (from two) in order to accomplish this
-Develop a good consistent sleep schedule


I'm going to make an effort right now. I'm going to get off the internet and go read a chapter in my textbook. 

Insomnia Strikes Again

While I was reading the latest post on a blog I read frequently "Red Means Go" I came across this sentence. "words are just that: words." which is true in a literal sense I suppose. Words are just words. They are small key pieces language that we use for communication. But we also let them hold insane amounts of power over us. We spend so much time worrying about saying the wrong thing (using the wrong word), sharing too much (not necessarily using too many words, but words that are too powerful). 


We need to give words some weight and power in order for them to continue to hold value and meaning. But I just wonder sometimes if it's ever too much. And then there's what I do. What I do  is worry about saying the wrong thing and often I choose to err on the side of caution, and not say what I'm really thinking out of fear and then regret not saying it later.


I suppose that I'm thinking about this now because I'm wrestling with whether or not to tell my boyfriend that I love him. In this stupid power struggle with words I'm afraid that it would be too much and ruin the relationship. I think what I really should do is just suck it up, jump in with both feet and tell him. 

Post Breakdown Epiphanies

After my epiphany and following breakdown last night (followed by a healthy dose of the album "Stairwells" by Kina Grannis), I've been doing some thinking and I've come to some more realizations. I may have a lot at stake in this relationship, but I'm ok with it. I really care about him and may even love him which is what is so terrifying to me. 
But let's see, 
I'm happiest when I'm with him. 
I don't care what we do, I just love spending time with him.
I'm happy when he's holding me, I feel safe in his arms. 
I hate to watch him leave and can't wait to spend more time with him.
He hasn't run away, even though I've never held back on sharing my emotional baggage. 
He always knows what to say to make me feel better and genuinely seems to care.
He makes me laugh


I guess that I'm accepting the fact that I'm afraid. But life is nothing if not uncertain. This is just something I'm going to have to jump into with both feet and no regrets. That's the only way to do this, go for it and hope for the best. As my grandma always tells me "These things have a way of working themselves out."

Post New Years Ramblings

I survived New Years unscathed. I went to a party with my boyfriend and had a few sips of alcohol here and there, but not enough to be classified as drunk. Overall it was a good time. I'm still having trouble believing that it's 2012. I'm also having trouble accepting the fact that I have to go back to school on Monday, that break went by way too quickly. In the meantime before I go back I still have to go to the dentist tomorrow to get one of my fillings fixed, go for a consultation with an oral surgeon on Wednesday about my wisdom teeth and I work on Thursday and Sunday. Basically that leaves me with Friday and Saturday to do whatever I want to do. (I still need to buy textbooks, do laundry and I plan on spending more time with my boyfriend before school starts again). 


Because it is that time right around new years it is also the time for resolutions. Now is the time where we pick and choose all of the things we really dislike about ourselves and our lives and promise ourselves we will make efforts to change these things only to give up on them a few weeks later. But as far as resolutions go, I have made none. I'm relatively happy with where I am in life right now, and I guess I don't see the point in making false promises to myself and adding pressure on only to be disappointed later. The only thing I think that I'd really like to do this year is travel. I'm getting a little restless. I want to go somewhere even if it's just a small trip. I know that I want to do a big trip to Europe at some point (which is not any time soon), but I think that this year I'd like to do something small just to get away for a week or two. (Maybe a small trip with  my boyfriend?)

Speaking of my boyfriend, today we went out and saw the new Sherlock Holmes movie. Afterwards we went to Starbucks, had hot chocolate and talked for a while. After he caught the bus to head back to his house I started walking home. On my way home I started hyperventilating and crying. I think it finally hit me just how much I have invested in this relationship, which is slightly terrifying. And now I guess I’m just worried that this was not the correct or normal reaction one should have to such an epiphany. Being with him makes me happy and I know that, but now it’s just bothering me that I had such a dramatic reaction to the realization of just how much I care about him, and how much of myself I've given to him.